I've been reading the book Tiny Experiments, haven't finished it yet but it really fits the way I think about things and adds up to something I have been thinking lately which is things you accept even tho you don't believe in them. I have been repeating that thinking of outcomes is the most important thing, trying to find metrics to know where we are, I have used SMART to work with people to achieve their goals... all because I thought that's what a good leader does, that's how I have been taught good leaders operate, and probably many do, with good results, but that does not mean that it has to work for me and certainly does not mean it is the only way, so why did I disregard my own instinct and follow this way of working? And why was I surprised when they did not yield the best results? I was simply trying to fit. I have learned to speak my mind over the years, I have gained confidence while doing it, but I have also compromised where I shouldn't have, I have also worked in ways that I did not believe in, and I'm not saying I'm always right or that everything should work my way, but when you know, you know, there's a very particular feeling I have when I'm doing something that compromises my authenticity which is very different from what I feel when I'm simply doing something that I just think won't work or that is stupid. I'm fine with experimenting with things that I believe don't have a good chance to succeed, especially when I believe in the person proposing this, but I'm not okay anymore with feeling I'm compromising on who I am, I'm done trying to fit.